A Letter

A neighbour's child has just turned six. They are surprised by the new changes they notice in their child. Write a letter in response, in which the characteristics and behaviour, they might now expect from their primary aged child are explained.

Thank you for reaching out to me the other day. Here is the letter I promised I would write on the physical / psychological characteristics of children in the age group of 6 to 12 years. Let me dive in straight to the point. 

For centuries, Children have grown in the midst of a variety of expectations from school /  parents. The adults , unaware of the child’s psychological characteristics & developmental milestones, make erroneous  interpretations in the treatment of these children. This ends in suppression of the childs inner energy. The child on the other hand — negotiates her way through these presumptions, dealing with her own developmental transformations, in a less efficient manner,  than what could have been desirable.  A mental oppression of sorts occurs that is frustrating for the child & the adults involved.  It's therefore important to understand the various changes that you are witnessing, before one sets out to aid a child in this stage of development.

Your child has turned six years old & you wonder, where the sweet & soft looking quite child, radiating quiet confidence, has disappeared. You are right to wonder, as you are witnessing a new child,  at the cusp of a transformation — physically & psychologically. She is now ready for a whole different, larger environment to strengthen her developments, both physically and spiritually. Her previous environments,  be it her home or her pre primary school would now prove to be limited — as she embarks on a new exploratory journey of the universe.

Physically, the child looks rugged with rough skin , coarse hair & loss of baby teeth.  The child appears to look slimmer & taller. The legs grow longer than the torso. The child is much stronger. These newly acquired physical changes prepares the child for more endurance in the area of sports & outdoor adventures such as long walks, hikes , etc. 

Psychologically, the child is less gentle, less accommodating, & seeks more freedom. The child is more communicative & speaks her mind with clarity & may not always agree to an adults view point, unless she is reasoned with logic. The child is leaning towards the “ why” of everything. She will not do something merely because she was instructed to do so. She will want the reason behind it. This may come across as rude & thats because the child is now exercising her newly found prowess of a reasoning mind. It's their way of breaking away from an old mould — to form a new one.

This child, unlike earlier, is not satisfied with the boundaries of family alone. She wants to expand her social relationships & go out into the community — of friends near her home or the friends she makes in her school community. She wants to push her limits and have new experiences. The child developes, what is called the “Herd Instinct”. As a part of her natural developmental — the child becomes a part of various peer groups. Peer opinions become very important - So does group loyalty. The child wants to dress & behave in a manner that the peer group does. She becomes more of a risk taker whilst exploring new adventures with her peer group. 

One of the most compelling characteristics in the psychological sphere is the birth of the conscientious behaviour. The child is now confronted with the idea of good & evil. The idea of morality germinates in their mind.  They are concerned with what is right & wrong. The idea of fairness & justice takes birth in this plane of development. The peer groups make the laws & the child sees morality through her various interactions with this group. Many times, rights & wrongs are etched in the childs mind based on the adults reaction to situations.

This is also a time for hero worship. The child wants to admire qualities of great people & their achievements. If the adults around can tell these stories — an environment is set, rich with humans who developed their passions to contribute to  the betterment of society. This instills compassion in the child & they will know that they can help too. 

Another key characteristic is the richness of the childs imagination.  The child’s imagination is fertile & wants to explore as many concepts as possible. Mere listing of facts doesn't interest this child. The child can use extraordinary details to fuel her imagination. She will explore various ideas,  only if her environment can stir her heart & mind with wonderment. They can hold many abstract ideas in their mind and this tendency allows them to explore the universe and all its wonders. 

The child in the age group of 6 to 12 years of age has an enormous potential to do great work. The environment must prepare itself to seed the mind of this child with various concepts & allow the child to explore with the power of its imagination. The child must be given the freedom to learn, to make mistakes & relearn — through concrete experiences. Thats when this child will love its surroundings, be its caretaker and work towards the betterment of the same. 

Reference Reading 

• The child in the Family by Maria Montessori

• The child at the age of seven - Lecture by Maria Montessori in London (1937)

• From Childhood to Adolescence by Maria Montessori 

• Classroom Lecture Notes by Alison Awes